


‘Cause I can’t make you stay if you wanna go

by kkkalguksu



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Broken Engagement, Engagement, K-Pop - Freeform, Kunten, Lee Yongqin, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Dong Si Cheng | WinWin, Mentioned Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Mentioned Liu Yang Yang, Mentioned Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, WayV - Freeform, Wedding Rings, Weddings, almost married - Freeform, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkkalguksu/pseuds/kkkalguksu
Summary: “Ten ge spilled his coffee on the couch…”“Hey, Kun, did you see my specs? I think I lost it somewhere here…” Ten muttered, walking around their apartment.“Kun, I’m so sorry, I think I broke the…”“Qian Kun!! I…”“Kun…” He was interrupted out of his own thoughts by Sicheng’s voice; a hint of panic can be heard in his voice even though he is trying to stay calm. Kun look at his friend who is wearing a handsome tuxedo that graciously suit him, “Hm? Something wrong with Ten on the other room?”“He… he ran away.” Kun’s mouth agape in surprise. Maybe he never expected this kind of mess. Especially, not on their wedding day.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, KunTen - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63





	‘Cause I can’t make you stay if you wanna go

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, dear readers!  
> This is my first au so I hope that you like it. ♡ The words that are in bold and are italicize are lyrics from RINI's My Favourite Clothes, you might want to listen to it while reading this. 
> 
> Enjoy! ♡

Kun is already used to Ten causing troubles. There was never a day that Ten didn’t cause a mess. He is always the cause of Kun’s headache but Kun didn’t mind. _Oh, the power of love._ Ten always make him frown, but at the end of the day, he’s always the one who put the smile back on Kun’s face. His clumsiness is too much that Kun already got used to it. He’s full of surprises but the fluttering feeling never grows old.

_He feels so nervous; his hands are trembling while he’s waiting for Ten to come. He’s walking back and forth inside the recording room, his palms sweaty, and it makes him feel terrified that he won’t be able to play the piano later when Ten comes in. His mouth is running dry, he feels like his heart is about to explode, he is running out of breath as if he’s running on a race—_

_but all of it stopped when Ten comes in, almost falling on his feet, and he gave Kun the sweetest smile that the older man adores._

_“Okay, so Hendery told me that you have a new composition that you want me to try and sing, can I hear it first?” Ten asked him, the younger man slowly walks towards him with a smile. Kun nodded his head and he proceed in front of his piano._

_“Wait… wait… you still don’t have the record, old man?” Ten teases him, “I thought you’re a man who’s always prepared.” He continues to speak, making Kun rolls his eyes. “I am. Can’t you just please… please sit over there?” Kun pointed at the couch near the piano. Ten bobs his head as he slowly walk his way towards the couch and he sat there quietly, patiently waiting for Kun to play his ‘new composition’._

_Kun starts to play the piano, his hands that was trembling earlier seems to work fine as it should, and then he starts to sing Ten’s favorite song. The younger one looks at him with a frown, Kun shakes his head with a smile as a sign that he should not interrupt, and so Ten didn’t. He just smiled at Kun who’s singing while playing the piano, this is the sight that Ten always adore. The first thing that made him fall in love with Kun._

_Kun stopped singing after the part of the chorus but he continues to play the piano, “Ten… you’re always this naïve when it comes to things. You know that… I could just send you the record of my new composition for you to hear it and ask you through text if you want to sing it for me.” Ten pouted his lips by Kun’s words._

_Kun smiled at him, “but you know how much I love you.” Ten nodded his head with glee, his heart fluttering. Kun always makes his heart flutter every time Kun tells him that he loves him._

_“Most of the time you get in trouble, you’re always causing mess, may it be little or a big one,” Ten shrugs, not uttering a word, so Kun continues with his not-so-heart-warming-speech, “but you know how much I love you.” Ten smiled at him, he now have the slightest idea of what’s happening and it makes his heart flutter much more, he’s afraid Kun can hear it even with the sound of the piano playing on the background._

_“You are so beautiful, I feel like crying every time I look at you. Your voice is so angelic that I am willing to give you all of my compositions for you to sing it. Your laugh itself is like music to my ears, I won’t get tired hearing it.” Ten can feel his cheeks burning, and he knows that his cheeks are now as red as the apples._

_“Should I also include how your kisses makes me weak?” This time, Ten can’t help but speak, “Qian Kun!!” Kun lets out his soft giggles as he stopped playing the piano. “What? It’s true. I also love how you wrap me in your arms, you are so small but it makes me feel safe.” Kun stands up, and Ten followed his gesture._

_“So I’m about to do something… and I need you to hug me. I need to remove the nervousness inside my body.” Kun mutters, his voice is so sweet it makes Ten’s heart melt. “What? You’re about to enter the military? You’re not even Korean.” Ten teases him which made Kun laugh. Ten wrapped his arms around Kun’s waist, “I love your hugs. Your tight hugs that always tells me that you’re always here for me, it feels so...” he smiled, lets out a contented sigh, “so right… it feels so familiar, like you’re my home...”_

_Ten nodded his head, “I am. I won’t ever let go. You have to beg on your knees, crying with blood tears if you want me to let you go.” Kun laugh again, Ten always has his way of making Kun laugh even on a serious situation like this one._

_“So?” Ten asked._

_Kun kneels down, which made Ten freak out, “What the hell, Qian Kun? You want me to let go of you already after two years of this relationshi—“ Kun shut him up with a small hush, “What about getting down on my knees to ask you to hold me much tighter? For the rest of our lives? Ten,” He takes out the small box of ring from the pocket of his hoodie, “will you marry me?”_

_Ten screamed his loudest ‘Yes!’ that made Kun smile, “You can’t go back with this decision now even if you beg on your knees crying with blood tears, Qian Kun.”_

_Kun nodded his head before cupping Ten’s soft cheeks using both of his palms, sealing their love and their first night as engage couple with a kiss._

“Kun…” He was interrupted out of his own thoughts by Sicheng’s voice; a hint of panic can be heard in his voice even though he is trying to stay calm. Kun look at his friend who is wearing a handsome tuxedo that graciously suit him, “Hm? Something wrong with Ten on the other room?”

Sicheng look hesitantly at him, scratching his nape, “He… he ran away.” Kun’s mouth agape in surprise. Maybe he never expected this kind of _mess_. Especially, _not on their wedding day_.

Kun instantly stand on his feet, “don’t tell me he’s pulling a prank on me on our wedding day? Geez, Lee Yongqin.” Completely ignoring and passing Sicheng’s colorless face, he walks to the other room where Ten is supposed to prepare, he was surprised not to see Ten inside. _Or maybe you’re not surprised, it’s Ten after all,_ he tried to push that thought away from his mind, “Where is he?” He asked Hendery, Yangyang and the rest of the staff who were supposed to primp Ten on this exact room.

“Gege, he ran…” Kun didn’t let Yangyang to finish his words, he rush out of the room, taking his phone from his pocket, and he dialed Ten’s number. 

The other line is busy. Ten’s phone is off. This made Kun breathless. _Ten, please,_ Kun muttered under his breath. He run straight to the parking lot, ride his car and drive straight to _their_ apartment.

He continuously tried to call Ten’s number, but to his disappointment, the busy line never changed. Kun feels like he’s about to vomit, he feels nervous, afraid— his head is aching like it’s about to crack. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s silently praying that Ten is in their apartment.

_Maybe he was terrified._

_Maybe he got so nervous it made him ran away._

He was thinking of constant excuses and reasons along his way to their apartment. When he parked in front of their apartment, he needed time to breathe first before he gets out of his car, _what if he doesn’t want to marry me anymore?_ He get out of his car, tightly holding the keys on his hand. He was about to insert the key of the door knob when he noticed that it was slightly open.

He went in silently, his heart racing with every step that he take, he feels like he’s about to lose his consciousness.

When he’s in front of the doorstep of their room, he heard someone sobbing, it made him stop on his track. _Ten is crying_. All of his thoughts and nervousness are washed away, and it’s now replaced with worry. All he want to do now is wrap the younger one on his arms, and they could just stay like that for the rest of their lives. He doesn’t care about marriage anymore, doesn’t care about their guest— the people waiting for them on the ceremony, the people worrying for them. All he can see now is Ten, and _he’s crying_.

He took the courage to get inside the room. Ten is crying, his shoulder is shaking and Kun is scared that Ten will collapse.

“I’m sorry, Kun… You know that I really am.” Ten now raises his head and he stare straight at Kun’s eyes. Those eyes that used to shine when they see Kun, those eyes that always stare at him as if he is the most beautiful person in this world, those same pair of eyes is now crying.

Kun is speechless, he can’t find the right words to say, so Ten do the talking, “I am breaking up with you.” This made Kun’s eyes widened, he breathed slowly, stand straight on his feet as he try to speak, “w-why?” Kun’s voice is fragile, it was barely audible. Nevertheless, Ten heard him. He always do. Just like how he always understand Kun’s moody days, or his unpredictable outburst of emotions. He can always read Kun like he’s a book that Ten already had memorized.

“I’m afraid...” Ten muttered softly, his voice almost cracking, “Of what?” Kun asked him, frowning. He feels like a lost child, he can’t understand what’s happening anymore. “I’m afraid I am ruining your future. I’m afraid that I will constantly cause mess in your life.” This made Kun laugh, a bitter one. “You’re afraid you’re ruining my future? You’re afraid to cause mess in my life? What kind of a sick joke is this? We’re about to get married exactly thirty minutes from now… and you ran away because of that? I told you before…” Ten interrupted his words, “Kun, _you make me feel like shit_.” He didn’t expect those words coming from Ten.

_Not from him. Not ever._

“What?” He said, he now feel exhausted, he feels like something sucked all of his energy out of him.

“I always feel like shit when I am with you. You’re this… perfect, you can do all things as long as you set your mind on it. You can make things perfect. I… while I am causing mess all the time. You make me feel so small, you know? Like… I’m nothing. Whenever I’m with you, I feel like I am just your shadow… and I don’t want to be just a shadow forever…” Ten is stuttering, he looks so tired, and so sad, Kun can feel his heart aching.

“I am so so sorry for the late realization, Kun. Let’s break up, let’s stop this.” Ten sighed, closing his eyes. He can’t look at Kun. Not when he surely knows that he’s hurting _him_.

“I am so sorry, Ten. I… I didn’t know.” Kun said, almost whispering. Kun wasn’t sure what to say, he chose to look at his feet instead.

“I can’t stop you, r-right?” He tried to speak, his voice trembling as he looks at Ten who nodded his head while removing their engagement ring on his finger. Ten leave the ring on the bed as he stand up and walks to the door, stopping beside Kun, “You can take your things now, or tomorrow morning. This is my apartment after all.” Then Ten left the apartment just like that. He left the apartment leaving the ring on the bed, leaving their two years relationship behind like it was just nothing, leaving like they weren’t supposed to get married— leaving Kun crying like a mess.

Kun decided to take his things already; he doesn’t want to cause any trouble for Ten anymore. He take the biggest bag that he have and start getting his clothes from the wardrobe. He feels like he’s about to cry again but he remain tough for him, for _Ten_.

He starts folding his clothes on the bed. He feels so tired when his phone rang, it’s Sicheng. “Kun…” His friend’s worried tone greeted him as soon as he answered the phone, he closed his eyes for a moment before responding, “It’s over Sicheng. I texted our families already. I am so sorry for the unexpected turn of events.” He turn his phone off, muttering a small _sorry_ under his breath, he feels sorry for what happened today.

He feels sorry for causing this mess.

He feels sorry for their guests who chose to attend their wedding instead of their works.

He feels sorry for _Ten_.

**_I'll leave it in your room,_ **

**_my favourite clothes_ **

**_and you can wear them out, if you want…_ **

Kun decided to leave his favorite hoodie that Ten wanted to have, he run his fingers along the soft fabric, his tears formed in his eyes as his lower lip trembled…

_“Can I have this?” Ten asked him, pointing at his hoodie that Ten’s been wearing since this morning_. _“Hmmm… I’ll think about it.” Kun muttered with a smile while stirring Ten’s requested hot chocolate. Ten pouted his lips, “please, pretty please, Kun…” He asked, acting cutely like a child asking for sweets._

_“Why do you even want that? I can buy you a new one.” Kun tells him, giving the cup of hot chocolate to Ten, “careful not to spill it.” He reminded the clumsy Ten. “It smells like you.” Ten responded with a sweet smile, “and I love your smell, it’s so sweet... Plus, it’s your favorite!”_

The memory is still vivid on his mind, it feels as if it just happened yesterday.

**_…just in case you miss the way I smell, it'll just be there…_**

He wanted to leave his scent forever in this apartment, this four-cornered room, this bed… forever, if he can. _It’s because Ten loves his scent_.

**_‘Cause I can’t make you stay if you wanna go,_ **

**_But I will wait for you to say, “Come home…”_ **

He knows that Ten still love him, and he still have the hope in his heart that one day, Ten will ask him to come home. He’s hoping that he will hear Ten’s laugh and suppressed giggles again. He’s hoping… He takes the ring from the bed and leave it on the bedside table, hoping that Ten will be able to see it. Hoping that when he see it, he will change his mind.

He take one last glance on the room. He left the bed neat, as always.

“ _Clean clean freak, let’s eat I’m starrrving…” Ten calls him playfully while he’s fixing the bed._

_“Wait, let me just fold the blanket.” He tells Ten who pouted his lips. “You’re always cleaning things that will turn into a mess again. I mean, we will just eat and cuddle again, you know.” He keeps complaining like a child; Kun pinched his nose after putting the blanket on the bed, “let’s eat, Ten.” He then giggled like a child and clings to Kun’s arm as they walk to the kitchen._

He takes his bag and leaves the apartment with a heavy heart that is hoping that _someday_ he’ll come back in this same exact apartment, greeting Ten with a smile.

**________________**

Doyoung turned the speaker off, earning a death glare from Ten who stopped dancing as soon as the music stop, “You should stop now or you’ll collapse, idiot.”

“That’ll be good then. I will be able to sleep well without having nightmares.” Doyoung rolled his eyes at his friend, said, “I’ll just punch your face instead, you can pay me.”

Ten takes the bottle of water from the small table before he sat on the corner of the room, “Don’t look at me like I’m an idiot. Stop judging me.” He drinks the water as fast as he can, he’s so thirsty and he feels so tired, his body feels numb already. “I thought we already agreed that you’re an idiot?” Doyoung sat beside him, he’s teasing Ten, but he’s obviously worried for his friend.

Ten recalls his decision, exactly three years ago from now, and he nodded his head, “Right, I’m half idiotic, half smart.”

“You’re full idiot, full idiot, Ten.” Doyoung utters with his as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

“I’m not.” Ten takes his bag and he raises two tickets, “If I didn’t do that, he won’t be able to perform in that stage, next week. So, do you want to come with me?”

“Your decisions are always abrupt, thank the heaven above that I am your friend, or else I will not come with you.” Ten smiled at him, “I know you will.”

“Stupid.” Doyoung rolled his eyes playfully, teasing Ten. On the other hand, Ten can’t help but admit to himself that well, he’s indeed partly _stupid_.

Ten knows that he’s a complete idiot when he decided to ran away from their wedding because of a stupid piece of paper, he’s a coward, he’s troublesome, but he’s never selfish. 

_Ten’s heart is about to drop, he can’t believe what he just did, “Can’t you stop moving your legs restlessly? You’re getting on my nerves, Lee Yongqin, explain.”_

_“Doie, if… if you’re trap on a situation wherein you need to choose something for the love of your life…” Ten stopped, biting his lower lip, “Shit.” He sighed for the nth time and tousles his hair, “I broke his heart, didn’t I?” He asked Doyoung who’s trying so hard to be patient with him, the latter just nodded his head, “you did.”_

_This time, Ten started to cry, he’s sobbing so hard he feels suffocated. Doyoung can’t help but wrap his arms around Ten instead of asking questions. Who cares if his friend ran away from his own marriage? Who cares if it was such a trouble and a total mess? Who cares about all that when his friend is hurting too much like this? Crying so much like he’s about to die? Therefore, Doyoung just hugged him, stroking the back of his friend. He knows that his friend doesn’t need any advice, doesn’t need any words, because he knows that Ten has his reasons for doing things. He knows how much Ten loves Kun so he decided to stop asking questions and let his friend rest for a while._

_Ten can’t sleep. He inhaled and sighed again after sorting things on his mind. Now, he’s ready to tell Doyoung everything. They were lying in bed at Doyoung’s room, both staring at the ceiling when Ten finally speak, “I told him he makes me feel like shit…” His voice is frail, he feels like crying again, but he continues to speak, “I told him… he makes me feel so small, that he makes me feel…” He gulped, trying to gain his courage to speak while trying hard not to cry, “It wasn’t true, Doie.”_

_“He makes me feel like I’m the most marvelous person in this world. When he looks at me, he makes me feel like I’m his world. He looks at me the way he admires the stars, Doie… that no matter how messed up I am, no matter how much trouble I cause, I am still wonderful to him.” Ten smiled bitterly, “He’s so patient with me, how did I manage to do this stupid thing to him? How did I manage to tell him that he makes me feel like shit? He’s always willing to clean up after my mess… He smiles every time I spill my coffee, and then he’ll just take a tissue to wipe it; he always know where to find my eyeglasses, my earphones… I love him so much, Doie.”_

_“I know you do.” Doyoung nodded his head._

_“I love him so much so I wanted to see him up on the stage.” Ten mutters, making Doyoung to sit, furrowing his brows, “what do you mean?” He asked._

_“I saw this paper on Kun’s trashcan in the recording room, it’s an invitation for him to perform on his dream stage…” Doyoung frowns, he didn’t utter a single word so Ten continues to speak, “He tossed it there like a complete idiot because of me!”_

_“You idiot.” Doyoung told him, making Ten raise his eyebrow in return, “excuse me, what?”_

_“He tossed it there because he loves you. Both of you are stupid, he can accept it even though both of you are married so why–“ Ten interrupted Doyoung’s words, “Kun is not an idiot. He can’t accept it, may I remind you that it is so far and… and the contract is for three years.”_

_“And you can’t go there with him because of your contract in your work here as well.” Doyoung nodded, monotonously speaking to himself._

_Ten nodded, “You don’t expect me to get married to him and after three days, he’ll just leave, right? I can’t also be selfish. I can’t even cancel the contract of my own work. It’ll be a total mess. Yes, I will be able to marry him, and then what? Be sent to jail?” Doyoung laughs and shakes his head, “maybe it wasn’t the right time for the both of you. After all, both of you are still young. If the both of you are meant to be together, fate will bring you back together.”_

**_Now might not just be the time for us…_ **

**________________**

Ten never believe in fate. He’s sitting comfortably beside Doyoung in the airplane and the only thing that is running in his head is, _screw fate, screw fate…_

_Screw fate…_

**________________**

“Should we just go back?” Ten nervously utters while holding his phone firmly on his hand. Doyoung raises his eyebrow, “don’t test my temper, Lee Yongqin. I didn’t cancel three _important_ meetings just to see you acting up like a child.” Doyoung hissed, emphasizing his every words, especially the _important_ part.

Ten nodded and said, “Alright, I didn’t went through shit just to act like a child!” He sounds like his motivating his self, Doyoung can’t help but laugh. “What? You just took an ‘eleven hours flight, a comfortable and a safe one to be exact, that wasn’t shit.”

“Shut up, Kim Dongyoung.” Ten went inside the performance hall, breathing in and out as if he’s the one who’s going up on stage. Well, who wouldn’t be nervous? He’s about to see Kun after three years. Kun, the only man that he loves for almost five years now. Kun, whom he chose to leave and ran away from, exactly on their wedding day.

**_Time is my friend until this life ends…  
There's nothing that it cannot mend…_ **

Ten’s heartbeat doubles as soon as the light on the performance hall went out, and the only light that is visible is the spotlight on the stage. Deep inside him, he’s silently hoping that Kun will be able to see him now… and that they will be able to make things up…

**_But know that what we have will always last…_ **

That he’s not mad…

That he already forgive him…

And that he still loves him.

**________________**

_I love you as the sun shines, ‘till it sets;_

_You are the most wonderful person I have ever met._

_I love you the first day I saw you, ‘till the last breath that I have,_

_Your smile melted my heart, I knew it then it was true love…_

Kun is singing and playing the piano with his eyes closed, he sounds so in love. _Is he?_ Ten can’t help but think, _what if he’s already too late?_

Does he still have a chance?

_I love you with all of your flaws and mistakes from the past,_

_I’ll love everything, everything about you until the last._

_I promise and utter these words costing my life,_

_Oh, this vow… I promise, I utter, costing my life…_

Kun poured his heart out making this song, he wrote this song three years ago, thinking about how much he loves Ten… Singing it now in front of people, on his dream stage, makes him feel so emotional. It’s his vow, his promise. He nervously stands on the stage and bow his head after his performance; he might not be able to share this vow to Ten, but he was happy that he had the chance to let it out of his chest, to let the world hear this song.

The claps made him smile, _Ten’s heart melted for the nth time_.

**________________**

“What’s taking him so long? My feet feel numb, it’s so cold…” Doyoung’s complaining non-stop, they’ve been waiting for thirty minutes in front of the theatre now. “Let’s wait a little more, Doie. I’m sure he’ll come out.” Ten looks at his friend, pleading. Doyoung just nodded his head.

“ _Seems like you’re waiting for someone_ …” They heard someone speak in Chinese, they turned around and there he is, standing with his beautiful smile, showing his dimples. Doyoung pats his friend’s shoulder and decided to wait on the nearby café; waving his hand at Kun who smiled back at him. Ten gulped, “C-congratulations Kun!”

Kun nodded his head, “are those flowers for me?”

“Yes,” Ten looks at the flower, he’s standing three feet away from Kun, “obviously.”

**_Now might not just be the time for us…  
But know that what we have will always last…_ **

Ten can’t help but think if this is already the right time for the both of them. If he’s making the right decision. He place his hand on his chest so that he could feel the beat of his own heart. He knows how much he love Kun. He decided not to care about anything anymore, he want to try, no matter what it cost.

“Can I come forward?” He asked Kun hesitantly. The latter nodded his head with a smile.

**_‘Cause I can't make you stay if you wanna go,_ **

He feels so sorry for trying to push Kun _away_ from him.

Kun feels sorry for not trying to _stay_.

Holding the flower tight on his hand, he walks fast— almost running and tripping over his own feet. Kun can’t help but giggle, _still the same old clumsy Ten…_

Ten shyly gives him the flower, scratching the back of his head using his other hand, “I’m so sorry, Kun. I didn’t mean the words I said that day… You make me so happy just by existing and I hope that you know it… I am so sorry for running away exactly on our wedding day, it was a stupid thing to do, but I don’t want to be selfish. Fate is so dumb for trying to separate us, I hate it so much so I told myself, screw fate, I want my Kun back, and here I am, embarrassed, but I don’t care about shit as long as I can see you again. You don’t make me feel like shi— _"_ Kun plants a kiss on his cheek, it made him stop, “I think that’s enough cursing for today, Lee Yongqin.”

Ten’s cheeks flushed, and he nodded timidly. Kun asked him, “Should we go home together?” The words are so sweet and familiar in his lips, Kun can’t help but smile.

**_‘But I will wait for you to say, "Come home…"_ **

Ten nodded his head, “Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this au, your comments will be highly appreciated, thank you!~ ♡


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